I have a secret.
See, all these famous-er-then-thou SEO folks have gotten together to lose weight for charity, over the next two months.
I smell OPPORTUNITY!
They’ll be busy pumping iron, running 5k’s and whatnot and actually - GASP - stepping away from their computers!
Not to mention all the time they’ll spend preparing & cooking healthy foods instead of munching on 3 day old Domino’s pizza.
Now, if you know SEO’s, you know they’re a pale, Jolt-drinking, sweatpants wearing, stats-checking bunch, and that they spend more time in front of their computers then should be humanly allowed.
But all this exercise - all this healthy food - will lead them astray. They’ll not have time to manage their campaigns.
Yahoo Site Explorer will be shut down from lack of use, and Google Website Optimizer will be taken out of Beta because no one is there to complain about bugs anymore.
Who will build backlinks? Who will write linkbait? Who will structure Wordpress permalink URL’s with the care and precision of Dr. 90210 performing a labial reduction?
And that’s where you and I POUNCE!
They won’t even know we’re here creeping up on THIER rankings, because they’ll be so occupied finding the fat content of 4 oz. of hummus for their food logs.
They might call it SEO’s Fight Fat - but I call February & March “Even Eejits Can Rank For Terms Like Payday Loans and Rake In The Adsense 2 Month Bonanza.”
(In all seriousness, they’ve got a cool thing going - I wish them all the best in their weight loss goals, and I hope they get GOBS of money for their charities. There are opportunities to receive links from their site in exchange for charitable donations, and considering the PR and linking heavyweight participating, doing so will give your site a boost.)
Alas, your diabolical plan may never get off the ground. As a person who has faithfully exercised for over 20 years, I know one thing for certain. Those who do not have a lifestyle of fitness are very unmotivated overall.
Yes, they have good intentions and they believe they can tough it out. But I see their kind every year around this time. I call them the resolutioners. They flood the Y with their heaving sweaty selves for a few weeks only to drop out of sight like Michael Jackson after a court date once they see what a healthy lifestyle requires.
Three day old pizza and a beer belly is easy living for those who can’t cut the mustard.
Maybe enough of them will succeed to make your plan somewhat successful.
Good Luck.
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